Tuesday, July 18, 2006
giam told me today that i got serious self-esteem problem
serious, i got self-esteem problem?
what kind of shit is that mann
this is the 3rd time this term she called me out after lesson to talk to me
i don't like her
i don't like her lessons
i don't like everything about her
so i just keep to myself during her lesson and occasionally making eye contact and hand gestures to mates whenever she made childish faces or comments
maybe she saw that whenever i rolled my eyes everytime
maybe she act cute everytime so i am constantly talking
so today, i was packing my bag about to go to the lab already when her lesson ended
i stood up and grabbed my bad
then she said "zenghao, i want to talk to her"
"bang"
she claimed that i slammed my bag on the floor while in fact i was just dropping my bag on the floor
the first thing she said to me was "what's with your attitude?"
i took five or more minutes to say "nothing"
then she started saying "i called you out today cos you were not paying attention in class, then you started slamming your bag on the floor. what's with your attitude. i know you don't like my lesson, i know that 1/3 of the class don't concentrate in class, but at least they try to put in effort in their homework. you don't think i dont know that that whenever i turn my back, then you start to talk, then when i turn around, you pretend to look at somewhere. tell me do you not like the subject or do you not like the teacher?"
she stared at me, and it took me around five more mintues to say "the subject"
when in actual fact, we do realised that teachers make a big impact on the students' interest in the subject though we know that if we don't like the subject bcos of the teacher, it is to our disadvantage
then she said "not liking the teacher and not liking the subject are two different things. i've tried to leave you alone during lessons cos i know that you were not interested, but not only are you not interested, you are trying to instigate your friends to turn against me"
up to this point, i am trying to keep my cool, but what she said was totally untrue
would i really give a damn about her to even care about telling my friends to turn against her
so i said "when did i ever tell my friends to turn against you"
she said "by talking to them in class, you are instigating your friends to turn against me"
what the fuck, what kind of logic is that mann
she continued "are you trying to be defiant. by slamming your bag on the floor, you are trying to show that you have high self-esteem. do you know that when you slammed your bag on the floor just now, everybody looked at me, trying to look for an explanation"
she lied again lah, i asked everybody after that confrontation, everybody was acting normal
"do you know that after many, many, many, many, many, many years of teaching in hwachong, you are the first ever student that is so rude in class, you have problems with me, you talk to me now, don't talk behind my back. you got a problem, tell me. i have my own moral values system, i am here in this school not to get the most popular teacher in school, i know that some teachers do that. i know that some students don't like me, but at least they don't talk in class. lixiang don't like me but at least he face the problem ... ... ... ...."
okay then she started to talk nicely to me again, and all that. "your class choosed you as a welfare sec for a reason, do something about it, i shall not delay you anymore, what should you say"
"sorry mrs giam"
after eating half of my physics lesson, she said i dont want to delay you any further.
at least, mr tan was kind enough to understand of i was late
at least, my friends were kind enough to ask me what happened
then why can't she try to understand
to be fair to her, not all of what she said was untrue
maybe i should try to pay attention in class
while the star of hope she leaves him; 10:56 PM
